By Marilyn Colter
A brain injury to any member of a family profoundly impacts how the household operates. Changes in family members’ roles and the emotional stress suffered by all can—if not understood early and addressed effectively—tear a family apart. With her book, journalist Marilyn Colter has performed a valuable service for all survivors and caregivers by shepherding us through the emotional land mines that must be identified and defused for the family to remain healthy.
Colter’s husband suffered a brain injury during a life-saving operation for an aneurysm. Missing Pieces is the story of how Colter, her 12-year-old daughter, and her 14-year-old son struggled to cope.
She tells their story in an unusual but instructive way. Rather than organizing the book around the events that occurred, Colter organizes it around the emotional problems that can harm a family living with a brain injury: fear, anxiety, anger, grief, guilt, and depression.
Informed by her own experience, she provides the human touch and empathy that only a full-time caregiver can understand:
Caring for a person with a brain injury is physically and emotionally exhausting. Encouragingly, Colter reports, “Many families have been able to work out solutions to the embarrassing or frightening situations they find themselves dealing with just by admitting their concerns to each other and working together to bring change.”
Perhaps Colter’s best advice is to take a day—periodically—to do something for yourself, not your survivor.
If you or a family member is suffering from emotional difficulties and can’t afford a therapist—or you'd rather take a shot at healing on your own—this book is a good place to start.
Better yet, everyone in the family should read and discuss this book before problems get out of hand.